So while I was at the ICR class this past week, all 3 kids were in daycare from 8:30am- 3pm. This was the first time I have had any time away from them since we got here, so it was a pretty big deal! I especially enjoyed my lunch break, which was always at least an hour, and gave me a chance to stop by the library, my husband's work, or whatever building I needed to get things done. As delightful and relaxing as it was to have some kid-free time, of course I was always happy to see their huge smiles when they would run up to me at the end of the day. I love my children--all 3 of them-- but they can at times be very frustrating and overwhelming. After a week apart, I have a few thoughts:
1) I am so glad I am not a working Mom! I don't know how other people do it: juggle a full-time job, raising kids, taking care of the house, the laundry, the meals, etc. I found the week to be the most exhausting and stressful I have experienced in a long time. After a full day of class, I still had to pick up the kids, make dinner, and take care of my household chores. Granted, we were unpacking, but wow! I would not want to do that every week!
2) It has been a while since the kids were away from me, and it took the time to adjust. Sophie was the fastest, since she remembers being in school last year. Danny literally had to be dragged kicking and screaming into his classroom the first 2 days, but then was cheerful the last 2. Alex cried each day, but got more and more comfortable with his teachers. It's definitely good practice to be with a babysitter or stranger now and then, so they won't have such a hard time saying goodbye next time.
3) We are NOT sending Sophie to Spanish public school. This week proved that yes, she can make it to 3pm without a nap... but then she is a miserable cranky mess all evening. The kids were EXHAUSTED all week! I had to drag them out of bed in the morning (at 7:30!) and they took short naps, if any, at daycare. Sophie was tired beyond control, and totally unmanageable. Thankfully, I talked to the center on base and they have an opening in their Spanish Immersion program, which meets M-F from 9am-Noon. Much better. She will start there next week!
4) I miss structured time with my kids. We used to spend our mornings reading books, coloring, doing a craft playdate, cooking together, or going to the park to play. All summer, we have been off that routine. Especially since we got here. We spend most mornings in the car driving around to different places, or at home watching movies, which was one of their few entertainments until all their toys were unpacked a few days ago. It does take more effort and frustration on my part to sit down and work on something with them, versus letting them watch tv or play on their own. But seeing the way they enjoyed story time, crafts, and classroom activities reminded me what a disconnected mom I have been lately. I enjoy the time I get to spend with my kids, and I really do want to treasure these years before they go to school.
5) School every day will be nice. :-) I was worried how it would go sending Sophie to school every day, when she only went 2 mornings a week last year. But now that it is only until Noon, I know she will still have the rest of the day with us, and I don't think either one of us is going to go into withdraw, as long as she still occasionally gets her Mommy-Sophie time. I will enjoy the ability to do things without her each morning and spend more quality time with the boys. And I know she will enjoy her time with friends. Win-win!
6) Alex is REALLY clingy. All babies go through that stage, but he has it bad right now. At home, if I put him down on the floor, he screams. If I have him next to me while I am dressing Danny, he screams. Every time I go to the bathroom, he screams. I wondered how he would do with the daycare providers... and he did a lot of screaming for them too. He wouldn't play outside because he wanted to be held. Whenever he was not getting attention at meals, he got frustrated too. Unfortunately, I can't tell if more attention from me or less is the solution. Sometimes I hold him, sometimes I have to put him in the crib for a few minutes of sanity. Either way, he doesn't seem like he is going to outgrow it any time soon.
7) I was kind of jealous of the single people... at first. The class was mostly young, active duty military. Only 4 couples out of 30 people, and I had the most kids. So other people were planning dreamily the trips they would take, the places they would live, the parties they would have, etc. All that was foreign and basically unavailable to me. And at first, yes, I was a little jealous and frustrated that they get to experience this country in ways I simply can't. But then I started to realize how lonely their life can be too. Sure, there are some wild fun-filled weekends, but the rest of the week they go home to a barracks room with or without a roommate. I had my chance to explore Europe alone, and it was very fun and I made the most of it. But that is behind me now, and I have moved on to better things: a husband who is my best friend, and makes everything more fun when we do it together; 3 kids who are my whole life and give meaning and purpose to everything I do--a family that has a future together.
Bottom line: I enjoyed my kid-free time, and my kids mostly enjoyed their time without me, but we are all happier and better together, so it is time to get settled, get this move behind us, and get back to the full-time job of being a great family!
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