Becoming a Servant

We have been going to Mass at the chapel on base, because of its convenience and the fact that it is in English. :-) No major complaints, however, it is a rather large, echo-y building with no cry chapel for children and no childcare during Mass, so we have been sitting in the back pew and taking the baby outside when he gets fussy. The sound system is not ideal, so the priest sounds very fuzzy, and sometimes I only catch every 4th or 5th word, so he might as well be speaking Spanish. But today the sound was improved and we could actually understand what was being said! And it was actually a good sermon. The readings were from Isaiah--the Suffering Servant, and from Hebrews--the High Priest. The Gospel was Jams and John asking Jesus if they could sit at his right and left, and Jesus is return asking them if they could drink from His cup of suffering. Our pastor explained how a priest is always a servant, giving of himself to help others. Jesus is an obvious example of this, but we are all called to do this throughout our lives. We don't have to suffer as Jesus did, but we should all be taking steps to be servants to others. The opposite, according to the pastor, is a consumer who is focused on him or herself at the expense of others.

As the pastor was speaking, his words really resonated with me. As a mother, I have spent most of the last 5 years using my body to grow and nourish 3 little people. If a mother doesn't view herself as a servant doing God's work, it would just feel like some kind of prison sentence! Children are, by definition, needy. They need you to take care of their never-ending needs (and their wants, too!). And I think a mother naturally knows and desires to put her children's needs ahead of her own. Everyone draws their own particular lines for how this works out, but in general, women make daily sacrifices to serve their children. Since I recently stopped nursing, and am not pregnant (hallelujah!), I have my body back to myself for the first time in years. And I enjoy that immensely. But it doesn't mean the physical sacrifices of motherhood end. I still feed my children before myself, carry them when I am tired, and make a million small choices each day to give myself for them-- my time, my energy, my patience, my humor, my skills, my knowledge, etc. For me, these are not usually difficult choices. I love my children, I (mostly) enjoy spending time with them, I want the best for them, and I want to help them develop into little servants of the Lord. The best way to do that is to model good servant behavior to them. I'm not saying I'm great at this, and I definitely have my share of not-so-pretty mothering moments, but a willing servant is something I try to be for my family every day.

However, it occurred to me that maybe God is not simply asking me to be a "suffering servant" by "drinking from the cup" of motherhood. Maybe, in this stage of life, I am called to be a servant in other ways. The priest referred to his role as a minister, consuming himself to feed others (metaphorically). How well I remember that from my 3 years as a youth minister! The job is exhausting in every way imaginable, and if you do not take care of yourself physically, socially, spiritually, and emotionally, it will burn you right up until there is nothing left to give to others. Life with children is like that in some stages--newborn, or potty training, particularly--but not continuously. And lately I am at a very balanced place with my children where they can do a little more on their own, and I have a little time and energy to focus on other things. I will be here in Rota for the next 3 years, so for the first time during motherhood I have been able to ask, "besides my family, where else can I minister?"

I don't have the answer yet, not all of it. But it has been in my mind a lot the last few weeks as we are learning our way around and getting settled. I feel like I have spent my whole life training, learning, preparing... for what? For marriage and motherhood, yes, but for something else too. Because I have numerous skills that have been laying dormant the last few years, and I don't think God wants me to forget about them forever! So it's time to dust them off, show them to the world, and see what role I will have in this community. Several opportunities have already presented themselves. I contacted the base newspaper to see if they need additional contributors. It turns out they do! So I may be meeting with the Chief in a few weeks to write newspaper articles for the 1st time since 2004. I also contacted the Navy Ombudsman program, which is like the Navy equivalent to a FRO or Key Volunteer (i.e. civilian liaison to facilitate communication between the chain of command and the spouses/families). Our Marine unit here is too small to have a paid FRO, and they have no Ombudsman assigned to them, since they are not Navy. It turns out they have been looking for a civilian spouse to volunteer, so both the unit and the Ombudsman program were happy to talk to me! Training will be for 3 days this week! More about that later, but I am really looking forward to it! To me, these are more than professional or career opportunities (especially since they are non paying positions!). It has been 5 years since I was a minister, and I miss it. Yes, I have been very busy doing the worthwhile work of raising a family--and I'm proud of that! But God never wants us to get complacent in our servitude. We should be servants always eager to drink from the cup He presents to us. So as He is placing more ministry opportunities in front of me, I am going to pursue them and see where they lead! So please say a prayer for me and my family this week, that we will all learn to be better servants to each other... and to others.